In life we are often haunted by the question, "What could have been?" As a story teller I try not to focus on this question, but rather the statement, "What was."
Roughly a year and a half ago, I had one of the most amazing days and nights of my life, but looking back, I have come to realize that I received this gift long before I knew the price that had to be paid for it.
The day was April 5, 2014. I was in Los Angeles for my Grandmother's 90th birthday party and for those that do not know her, she is the most amazing and inspiring woman I know. I will not attempt to summarize her here, but I can say that without her I would not have found my passion for science, a quest that will forever define my professional life.
On this magical day of days I had the pleasure of being immersed with friends and family, new acquaintances and familiar faces. The party was exquisite, not only because my grandmother has exceptional taste and class, but because everywhere I looked, I found someone to share a laugh and a toast with. Suffice it to say, I had a good time.
The day continued into the late afternoon and, for those that are sports fans, continuation of the 2014 NCAA Men's College Basketball tournament, namely the Final Four. The UConn vs Florida game was first up and we were still dressing down from the day portion, before the evening congregation at Cortez. I have a special, dark place in my heart for both of these teams, but I knew that my beloved Wild Cats, if successful, would face one in the National Title game. I paid little attention to the game, but my takeaway was that Shabaz Napier was not to be trifled with.
We were in the TV room at 1011 for tip off, Kentucky vs Wisconsin. I had anticipated this game for some time (nearly a year), knowing that if Kentucky made the Final Four, I would be seated at Cortez alongside my brother and other cherished family members for what could be an unforgettable game, something that does not come along often. Nothing could have prepared me for the next 3 hours. An epic battle that went back and forth, ending with this moment. (Cue madness)
Several moments followed this, too many to summarize. For starters, I exploded off the couch in a furry of emotion and profanity. I had been pretty buttoned up for most of the game, something my brother later queried me about. Nevertheless, as Aaron sank his 3rd of 3 game winners, I let loose. Months later I realized that seated next to me was my beloved and reserved Uncle Pat, who was born and raised in Wisconsin and a UW-Eau Claire alum. His emotions in that moment were somewhat different than mine, undoubtedly complicated by his fiery nephew flying off the handle in front of him. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to reminisce and apologize for my actions in his and my aunt Maureen's home state of Maui last month.
I wasn't alone in my elation. My cousin Brandan, a true class act and now minted DDS, won his March Madness pool with Kentucky's win. I am close with many family members, but not as many as I'd like. Unfortunately, Brandan is in the latter category and never in our lives had Brandan and I shared a moment quite like this. I will cherish it forever. Interestingly, his equally talented and stunning sister Alison was seated near me for most of the game as well. She didn't have a horse in the race, but supported BBN under the circumstances. During half-time we discussed her trigonometry course work at the University of Arizona and she showed me a textbook that our mutual grandfather had given her from when he was there, another moment I will cherish.
As children in their 20s do in moments like this, we took to the streets (or more accurately the backyard), to shotgun beers. I am not quite sure why XY's feel compelled to do such things, but we do. As a precursor to this moment, I stole a new acquaintance away from a casual conversation he was having with my Aunt Ro. Nik, my cousin Lindsy's boyfriend (now husband; #lindsgetbaptised), was a relative newcomer to the Fiedler cohort at the time and I seized a bonding opportunity with this fun young lad. Its not every day that you get to group shotgun silver bullets at your Grandmother's 90th Birthday Party. Later in the evening my brother would scold me for mobilizing the team without him. Sorry. The good news is that Rich and I have shared more than a few moments like this together, on multiple continents. Our bond now stretches to the next generation, enjoy being in the lead Brudder.
It was a night I had never experienced at Cortez. Family, sports, beverages, and my beloved grandmother, the lynch pin that tied it all together. It was beautiful, one of the best nights of my life. Kentucky would be vanquished by UConn in the National Title game 2 days later, an outcome I anticipated (they have our number). No matter, I had my memories.
But life has a way of messing with our minds, toying with our emotions.
Almost a year to the day, Wisconsin and Kentucky would face each other in the exact same game, only this time Kentucky came into this game as the aggressor with a 38-0 record and a chance at making history. I had spent the meat of the NCAA tournament in China visiting the Mrs's family. Hyperbole aside, that journey will represent a seminal period of my time in this life and will function like a stone cast into a pond, sending ripples into the future. I had to follow the Cincinnati, WVU, and Notre Dame games from afar. I found it fitting that Aaron saved the day with another deep 3; sigh of relief from BBN. Kentucky would advance to the Final Four. I would be home in Guilford for the climax.
It is worth noting that an idea had been churning in my mind during our trip to China, a seedling breaking new ground, weaving tendrils and roots as it grew. A tattoo. If Kentucky finished the journey 40-0 it would represent the biggest accomplishment in NCAA basketball since 1976 when Bobby Knight lead Indiana to a perfect season. Apart from moments like this, it is safe to say that there is no love loss between Kentucky and Indiana. Bad blood aside, my passion for Kentucky runs deep and represents a conscience choice I made to follow sports. I wanted to form a bond with my brother and sports was the only way to do so. Committing to Kentucky in 2003 was one of my first steps on that journey.
It wasn't just the Kentucky brand I wanted imprinted on me, but rather the beautiful synergy between the Michael I was and the Michael I will become. Youth has been my companion for 30+ years, but my boyish infatuations are starting to be replaced with mature aspirations. Throughout China I searched for some balancing symbol to blend my past with my future. Something to capture this brief moment in time that not only symbolized the journey in front of me, but also the footprints that lay behind. UK alone is only half the story, my youth. I needed something to crystallize my future, something to represent the synergy my life has created. I found it in Beijing.
The Pixiu is a magical and majestic Chinese creature that holds great power and meaning in the Far East. Rather than attempt to explain its meaning here, I will simply say that the city of Beijing is built using its likeness; if you are curious to know more, you have the link you need. What is critical to this story though is that if you look at this creature with a creative eye, what mascot does it resemble? A wildcat perhaps?
Game Day: April 4, 2015, 364 days removed from my Grandmother's 90th. Tip off came and I watched eagerly, alone, as Kentucky went for 39-0. I had long since feared we would draw Wisconsin for this game. Unlike the rest of the field, Wisconsin did not see an undefeated roster that would send 6 players to the NBA (7 if you count poor Aaron). They saw the team that ended their season a year ago, a game Kentucky probably should not have even been in. Nevertheless, they were unafraid and they played like it. I was devastated.
It took me a week to utter a word about the game, which if you know me is beyond irregular. Inside my mind, I needed to find some narrative to explain my reality, some causality to temper my embroiled emotions. What in the cosmos had dictated this sequence of events? Why had the basketball gods taken perfection off the table? Was it a fool's pursuit all along? Then it hit me. What if Aaron had missed a year ago?
Follow me through this butterfly effect:
If Aaron had missed in 2014, Wisconsin would have advanced to face UConn in the National title game and the outcome would have been the outcome (ie, doesn't matter).
Most of UK was coming back anyway and the 2015 team would have been the exact same (ie, perfection still very much on the table).
What is the critical difference? Wisconsin doesn't have an axe to grind. Maybe Kaminsky comes back for his senior year, maybe he doesn't, but the focus and determination the Badgers had in 2015 to beat Kentucky would cease to exist and my beloved blue would have had a clear path to perfection.
But what of my experience at Cortez? If Aaron misses, is there the same jubilation? The same excitement? What bonds would have been formed or not formed? What memories would I have today? Kentucky is a basketball team that plays 1,000 miles from my home. I didn't go to UK, I've never even been to Rupp. My family is my family though. They are my past, my present and my future. My blood. Without them, I have no audience to draw my life force, no minds to dazzle and entertain. They are what is important, not some game.
So with an enlightened perspective I can say, I am not interested in "what could have been?", I cherish "what was."
match unleaded
PS My only regret in all of this is that I never explored the artistic possibilities of combining these 2 iconic symbols (UK logo and the Pixiu). If you look up #gamedayart you know I take these things seriously. It is what it is.
0 comments:
Post a Comment